Sent: Thursday, March 5, 2015 2:31:04 AM
Subject: Experience Submission
To preface what I am sharing, my experiences can be categorized into three parts, one part to each of three beings I have encountered (I believe two of the experiences involved different beings, largely due to the geographic distance between the locations where I encountered them). Two of these beings were of the same classification; they were utterly invisible to the naked eye, and yet cast a shadow. I have referred to these creatures, and will in my story, as Shadow Forms. These do not appear to be the generic form of being most often referenced in the submitted stories on your page, as most of your submissions appear to deal with beings comprised of Shadow, existing in the 3-D space of the environment. These Shadow Forms of my experience are simply shadows cast upon flat surfaces by an otherwise unseeable mass. I do not understand why they are this way, and can only supposition from there. The third being, with which I have had numerous unpleasant experiences, is, in my mind, unquestionably demonic.
Experience #1 - Rural farmhouse, Late 90's
This incident occurred in the late summer. At the time, my mother, sister, brother and I lived in an old farmhouse built circa 1940's, which was actually quite comfortable despite the era of its construction. Our daily activities kept us away from the house most of the day during school, as my mother worked in one town, and our school district was in a second. After school, my siblings and I would spend the afternoon into the evening with my grandmother, who lived in town, and we would usually arrive back at the farm for the night after 9:00 PM on weekdays. My older brother had recently gotten his own vehicle, and, not wanting to stay quite as late at our grandmother's house, he would often leave ahead of my mother. My sister would most often opt to ride home with my mother, while I would most often accompany my brother. We would usually arrive at the farm about half an hour to an hour prior to my mother and sister.
Over time and with age, the garage door had stopped working properly, then at all. This led to the arrangement, one person would remain in the car with the head lights on, the second would go into the garage via the side door, hit the garage lights, and then the first person, who was in the car, would kill the headlights and follow. This was the norm for months, and while I hated to be left alone in the darkness outside, and I always felt skittish, I would almost always be the one left in the car to kill the headlights while my brother went in first. However, I had never had an experience up to this point. Then, late that summer (I cannot recall the exact year, but I believe it was either 1999 or 2000), my brother and I, as usual, arrived home first by a wide margin. He went in first to hit the lights, and, par for the course, I was left in the car. This car was fairly low to the ground, so much so that you could see the ground about four or five feet in front, and it would only obscure a person standing in front of it up to about the thigh. Point is, its a low car.
Now, on this night, I felt particularly uneasy. The dogs (we always had two of them) would usually come to greet us coming home, but this night they were far off in one of the surrounding fields, barking like mad. I dutifully killed the lights, opened the door and stepped out... Then, bam! In the middle of this balmy 70 degree night, a sharp cold wind kicked up like a wave rolling over the property, and the dogs' barking got louder - they were chasing something, and they were coming straight for the garage. Panicked, I quickly jumped back into the car, locked the doors, and hit the lights. I watched as the dogs ran closer, and then, when they were about ten to fifteen feet away, I saw a Shadow Form sprint between the car and the garage. However, I didn't see the actual being; I was only able to see its shadow cast on the backdrop of the garage door. The shadow it cast was bent low, like it was running while crouched, and the only details I could discern from it were that it appeared so emaciated as to be almost skeletal, and appeared to be covered in shredded garments (I could just make out rags fluttering around its limbs as it was running). Though it's shadow was crystal clear, the entity itself was completely invisible, but my dogs were clearly after it and, though this is my own opinion and nothing more, I do not believe I ever, through the rest of their lives, saw either of them so frothing-at-the-mouth mad as they were while chasing it. And, as I noted previously, the car was far too low for a visible figure to have simply been hidden from my view but still cast a shadow. The thing was invisible, but cast a shadow. As it continued to run into the yard, I saw its shadow again in the pools of light cast on the yard by the windows of the house where my brother was cluelessly going about his nightly routine, seemingly unaware that I was not yet indoors. I waited a few minutes, though for me it felt like hours. I was too terrified to scream. Too terrified to even move. Finally, as the minutes ticked on, and the barking of my dogs told me they'd chased the thing into the field on the other side of the property, I felt at ease enough to try to make it indoors again. I opened the door all the way, slowly, keeping my body mostly in the car and holding onto the handle, arm outstretched. Then, I felt five icy points of contact, four on the top of my arm, one below, like the points of five fingertips trying to grip. The wind, which had died with the passing of the first entity, came back in a gust, and in a moment of pure panic, I ripped at the invisible hand with my other hand and slammed the door. It felt like I was pulling cobwebs away, though within minutes the sensation was gone and there was nothing visible on my hand afterwards. I honestly wasn't paying much attention to it at the time, though knowing that physical contact with such entities is rare, should a similar experience occur in my future I would like to pay closer attention to such tangible sensation. Immediately following my slamming the door, a second shadow appeared against the garage door. It walked, quite comfortable in itself, until it was dead center in the headlights. Again, it was invisible, again all I could see was it's shadow cast by the headlights, and again it appeared to be the shadow of an emaciated human, dressed in clothing so old as to have been reduced to rags. It had no hair visible in its shadow, appearing essentially bald. Once it was centered, it turned to face me, its hands on its hips. It looked at me for ten seconds, ten solid seconds. It shook its head, almost as if it were annoyed with me, before turning and walking to follow where the dogs had chased its friend. I stayed in the car, petrified, until my brother came to collect me. All I remember saying to him is, "They're here! We have to get inside! They're here!"
These entities did not emanate a particular emotion. The fear I felt was the fear of the unknown. They did not appear to be particularly powerful, as I was able to essentially push the second one away with my measly ten year old's strength, and the first could only flee from my dogs. As I have thought about it over the last decade and a half, I have come to the conclusion the first one was likely attempting to distract my dogs, while the second was attempting contact. If I had not reacted so instinctively to its touching my arm, I believe it may have spoken to me. That concludes my first experience with an unknown Shadow Form.
Experience #2 - One Story Town Residence, 25 miles from site of Experience #1
This experience was far shorter than my first. I had moved to the house to live with my brother and father, and had been there about a year by the time of this experience. It was Fall, and I was lying in my bed in the night, finding it difficult to find sleep. A habit of mine when feeling sleepless was to look around the room and figure out what was casting each shadow on the wall. Don't ask me why, I don't remember why or when I started. It just helped me find sleep. My version of counting sheep, I suppose. I finally zeroed in on a misshapen shadow in the corner of the room, near the ceiling, basically at the opposite corner from where I laid in my bed. It was on the same wall as the window, where the only source of light in the room was coming from, and that puzzled me. I looked over the rest of the wall and there were no other shadows on this wall. So, following my habit, I first began to analyze the room, searching for either a particular reflective surface that could reflect the light, or a light source located in the room. This would be followed by searching the room to detect the mass that actually cast the shadow... Except, I could not find either the reflective surface or light source which I sought. I redirected my attention fully on the shadow, watching it writhe like the shadows cast by leaves softly fluttering in a night breeze. Up to now, this was exactly what I thought I was watching, but I was mystified by its positioning. As I watched it continue to flutter, trying to puzzle out the physics that led to its odd location, I began to notice odd features... A head here, a foot there, a few fingers or a hand. I felt fear initially when these details sunk in; this was a Shadow Form, invisible except for its shadow just like the ones I'd seen at the farm. It was obviously watching, and I'm not certain it even knew I was awake. I continued to watch it, calming myself and thinking. Then, a thought struck me; fear is their power. Fear is their only worthwhile weapon against me. My own fear is the only thing they can use to harm me. So, I swallowed my fear. I controlled my breathing as best I could, until I was in a place of calm. Then, I spoke to it; "I see you, ya know. I'm not scared of you."
I don't know what this really did, but it seemed to try to shrink into a ball, and, a moment later, seemingly giving up the idea of hiding, made a beeline for my door. The door opened and closed by itself at its passing, and that was the last time I've ever seen one of these Shadow Forms. What came next had me wishing with all my might that Shadow Forms kept on coming instead.
Experience #3 - Beginning same location as Experience #2, 2006, continued to follow me to present day
Him. I've nicknamed Him the Arbiter. When I write about Him, it is with a mixture of awe, fear, loathing, respect, horror, disbelief, and the sincere hope that I am insane and this has all been the creation of my mind and I am actually in a straight jacket in a mental institution and I am simply living in my own head. Bear in mind, reading this experience, as long as it is, I want it to not have happened. I want it to be in my imagination. I want it to be a bad dream. I want to be proven wrong about it all. Unfortunately, I have only had it confirmed in its authenticity and, perhaps more unfortunately still, I have only had my sanity affirmed.
It began one night in the same bedroom as Experience #2. I slept well, a dreamless sleep if I recall correctly, until 2:59:50 AM. I know the precision of the time, because I woke like someone flipped a light switch in my head. This in and of itself was unusual for me, and I immediately remarked to myself the instantaneous wakefulness I was experiencing. After a few perplexed seconds, I looked to the clock at the foot of my bed to witness the large red numerals switch over from 2:59 to 3:00. I had slept facing the wall that night, with my back to the room. I stayed in that position for a few minutes, trying fruitlessly to find sleep again, but I was wide awake. Imagine, if you will, the impossibility of trying to go to sleep while running a marathon, or on a roller coaster. It wasn't just hard, it was impossible. Didn't stop me trying, though. So, thinking to readjust my position, I flipped. Good God, I wished I'd just kept my back to the door to this day. In that second, the phrase 'paralyzed with fear' became a literal description of my condition. I will attempt to describe Him as best I can... He was a creature, composed of Shadow-made-flesh. Place Him in a box, sealed with foot-thick concrete on all sides, no cracks, no light... You'd still see Him plain as day. He was made of a darkness so profound, so complete, that the natural world, natural total darkness is a sunlit landscape in comparison. His legs with thick, knotted and corded with misshapen muscle, a diameter that rivaled small trees. He was quite definitely masculine by its build, though I didn't exactly check His plumbing. His torso was wide, apelike, His shoulders wider than His hips. His arms hung like tree branches, disproportionately long so that His hands almost reached His knees, and each of His fingers ended in inch long hooked talons. He appeared to have wings draped around Himself like a cloak. His teeth were pointed, His face chiseled in rough features, and, believe it or don't, a pair of horns rested on top of His head. It was hard to make out additional detail, with His shadow flesh the way it was, but the interesting thing about His appearance was that He had full features. Most of the Shadowmen talked about are mostly featureless, smooth. He was anything but featureless; His features were just difficult to interpret due to the Shadow flesh He seemed made of. He stood so tall, He crouched in my room to avoid His horns from scraping the ceiling. All of this description, however, cannot do His appearance justice, and honestly, even His raw appearance could be duplicated or described with perfect accuracy, it would still fall short. This entity radiated fear like a noxious cologne. Ever been in a room with someone who didn't like you? I mean, REALLY hated you? You can feel it. It tingles against your skin, especially the part of you facing the hateful person. You can just feel it. It's uncomfortable. You want to get the hell out of there. You want away from this person. Take that feeling, and multiply it by at least a hundred. This entity gave off hatred so thick, so strong, it was more than skin tingling; my skin felt like it was on fire the moment I became aware of Him. Along with it came the scent, the taste of hatred. It choked me, made my breath draw short, and though I have never been a bedwetter I swear I would have wet myself had I had a full bladder that night. He stood there for forty minutes, watching me, silently breathing, very much animate. His fingers would curl and uncurl, he appeared to stretch in small movements on occasion. About ten minutes into the forty minute episode, I gathered enough courage to put my hands together and pray. He was demonic, I had no doubt from the moment I laid eyes on Him. I knew it as well as I know that pain hurts. So I prayed. And I prayed. I whispered the Lord's Prayer, over and over, before praying in my own words for God to banish this creature from my bedroom and protect me. The entity just stood there while I prayed, until after about ten minutes of prayer, He laughed. His laughter was felt, more than heard; a subsonic rumble like an avalanche, causing the whole room to vibrate, the window to rattle against its own frame. I stopped praying then, and simply cowered. Finally, after what felt like days, He turned and opened my bedroom door, ducked out, and closed it behind Him. HARD. Hard enough, in fact, that my father asked me the next morning why I'd slammed my door so hard at around 4 am. I told him what happened. He didn't really believe me when I said I thought I'd seen the Devil. Maybe I hadn't... But I swear, if it wasn't the Devil I saw that night, it wasn't that far removed the Devil. I told my best friends that day about my experience, and they laughed like it was a joke.
I started having dreams. Well, one dream, over and over on a repeating loop. He was always there. It happened in three parts; the first part, I would walk down the aisle of a chapel. Towards the beginning, it was a modern church, and at the head of the aisle, was a modern funeral casket. The aisles were filled with invisible entities, but their shadows were visible. They were whispering amongst each other, some language I couldn't make out. The entity Himself was there, standing on top of an inverted crucifix above the casket. As I walked down the aisle, the church and the casket became older styles, but always looked newly built. A wooden structure with the old style casket that vaguely suggests the shape of the human body. A cathedral with a stone coffin. Finally, when I'd reached the head of the aisle, I was in a cave facing a solid stone sarcophagus. The lid slid open with a heavy grind, and I climbed into it. It shut over the top of me with a dull thud. Enter phase two of the dream sequence... I believe I was in Hell. It felt like Hell. Emptiness. Utter, total darkness. Absolute solitude. There have been many musings as to what Hell is like by those who believe in it. I believe, after this experience, that this is what Hell is. It is completely and utterly devoid of color, light, and companionship. Scream at the top of your lungs, you won't even hear your own voice. Somewhere out there, He was watching. He was somehow in every direction at once, surrounding me. Then I felt another presence. It made noise I could hear. It sounded like a dog. A very big, very frightening dog. It circled me, one direction, then lunged in. It didn't make contact, but I could hear its growl, hear its snarl. It began circling the other way. Again, it lunged, actually brushing my arm this time, but again it pulled back. It began circling the other direction again. Finally, it lunged a third time, its aim true. It struck me full in the chest, but it hit like a blast of steam. I felt it sink into my pores, my nose, my eyes, my mouth, my ears. As I knelt, gasping for air around the foul air, the lid of the sarcophagus slid open and I was released. I climbed out of the stone box, now back in the original modern day church, but something was different. I could see them. All of them. What I can describe only as Angelic and Demonic entities, intermixed seemingly at random, throughout the pews of the church. The entity at the epicenter of these experiences was standing in the middle of the aisle, but now I could see His eyes. Instead of being just jet black discs, they were softly phosphorescent cold blue, like chips of ice with a candle behind them. He raised His hands slightly, and He spoke, and for the first time, I heard His voice, like a subsonic fist against my eardrums. He asked me one question; "Do you see?" End of dream sequence. Go ahead. Tell me I'm crazy. I had this dream half a dozen times a night for about a month. The only break in these dreams were when I'd lost random items. Like my car keys and phone. Lost them... Then had a break in the dreams where I had a dream showing me the exact location of my keys and phone... I grabbed my spare set, drove out at 2 in the morning to the basketball court I'd seen in my dream, walked to the spot, picked up the keys and phone, drove home, went to sleep. Turned out I'd left them in my friend's car, and they'd fallen out when he went to shoot some hoops. Didn't know he'd gone there. Thought I'd left them at his house someplace. Anyway, I was glad for the reprieve from the nightmare. Thought for an absolute certainty I was going insane. Actually prayed I was going insane.
A few months went by. I'd shared further details of my experiences with only my best friend. He and I were sitting in the living room of the house I'd seen the entity in for the first time, and we were talking about some random thing. Down the hall, the entity manifested, in broad daylight, and turned and walked into the back bedroom (where, following the original experience, I had relocated to as my bedroom. Had trouble sleeping in the original room after that experience). I stopped talking in mid sentence. So did my best friend. A few minutes passed, and I'm staring at the floor, hoping my friend was just puzzled why I'd stopped talking. Then he asked the question that blew my hopes of insanity away like so many wisps of smoke; "That was it, wasn't it?" I answered, simply, "Yeah."
I had innumerable experiences, many of which were dreams, over the next five years or so. One dream, where He laid His hand on my shoulder, caused a handprint to burn onto my skin. I noticed the next morning in the shower when the water made my shoulder burn like hell. The handprint lasted most of the day, though the only photograph I managed to get of it has been misplaced. It eventually faded, and the priest I saw told me condescendingly that was likely a mundane rash, dream and perfect handprint shape aside. It has now been about a year since my last experience. It has been 9 years since my first encounter with Him. I've always felt Him, felt a connection, since the first time I had the dream. I believe He brought me in some form into Hell in order to place a part of Himself inside me. For awhile, I could almost hear another individual's thoughts inside my head, another's hatred in my heart. Then, the distinction became too fine to tell what was really me and what wasn't. I learned to cope with it, listened to my logic instead of my heart, did everything I could to block out any influence He may have been attempting to exert on me. I ended up going to other faith practitioners of various sorts, and met my now wife, a deeply spiritual woman with a profound belief in old world practices of spiritual healing. She and the various practitioners helped me to finally put it at bay, though upon meeting me, the Master healer's face turned white and she refused to allow me into her home. She said she sensed profound darkness around me and could not bring it into her home. I should mention, at this time she had only just learned my name and knew nothing of my experiences with the demon. After many months of working with her, and a warning that I must make a concerted effort to keep the door closed, she affirmed I was holding it at bay. She never charged me a penny. She only asked that I take care to never let it back in. I am beyond grateful to her. I still sense it, in a very vague sort of way. Like He's watching me, from a very very great distance away, waiting for me to open the door.
I realize that this third experience reads like an attempt at a horror novella. I don't expect the vast majority of people who read it to believe it. What I do hope is, if anyone reads it and is dealing with this entity, know that He can be repelled. He can be rejected. He can be held off. He hates to be known. His greatest power is in isolating His victim. If you are going through something like what I went through, find someone to talk to. Anyone. A complete stranger, even. I feel He is ancient, and strongly prefers anonymity. He is strong, but revealing Him weakens His hold on you. The more I spoke, the more I shared my experiences, the less I felt burdened and oppressed by Him.
If you have read this far, I thank you. I know this is not the normal Shadowman story, and a lot of it is pretty damn out there. I don't ask that you believe it. Just, if you ever go through it yourself, bear in mind; there is hope.