From: Barbie
To: The Official Shadow People Archives
Sent: Monday, June 7, 2010 12:41:08 AM
Subject: My "shadow people" experiences
My name is Barbie and I give permission for this story to be posted on shadowpeople.org and I allow my e-mail address to be shown in hopes others have had the same experience and feel like e-mailing.
I have only told my experiences to a select few. I don't share them with just anyone, but my experiences seem to be escalating and I feel the need to share them with someone. I'm not crazy, I don't suffer from any psychological illness or health issue that would cause me to see things. I am an educated person. I am not very spiritual, meaning I'm an atheist. I believe everything can be explained scientifically, no matter how creepy or odd. I believe we have only to look at quantum physics to assure us we don't know everything. These are my personal beliefs which may conflict with others and that's OK. I respect everyone’s beliefs. With that said, I have no real explanation for what has happened to me throughout my life.
The first time something odd happened to me I was very young. I was almost 5 years old. This was a traumatic time for me as my parents, who I love very much, were fighting and getting a divorce. A lot of nights I would be put to bed and cry when no one was around. Every night I cried, I would hug my teddy bear tightly and think, in my irrational child's mind, how much I wanted someone who loves me and would never leave like my mom is going to, to just hug me back.
Not long after I would hear the sound of my sliding closet door open that was facing the foot of my bed. I would hear something slowly walking towards my bed across the hardwood floors and I felt someone sit down on my bed. The first time It happened, I thought it was one of my brothers playing a trick by hiding in my closet but decided to comfort me when I was crying. So, I looked up and saw the indentation of the bed as if someone was sitting there. No one was there that I could see. Of course, every child's blankets and sheets are a "magical" thing to throw over your head and make scary things go away. Ha-ha. So that's exactly what I did. I felt the bed slowly spring back up as if whatever it was got up but, I heard nothing walk away. Peeking out of my blankets I saw nothing and eventually went to sleep. This happened every single time I would be sad at night. Nothing bad ever happened, I was just a little weirded out. I never felt it was evil, it just wasn't "right," if that makes sense. This happened until I was about 7 years old and each time, I was sad. I just got use to it and wasn't ever scared. Then it just stopped. I was less upset at these times so I suppose that might be a factor
The next experience I had was when I was 11 years old. Same bedroom, same house. I'd come home early from school feeling really sick with the flu. My father, a single parent, was a police officer at the time. He couldn't stay with me as he was working so he tucked me into bed, gave me some flu stuff and my Barbie doll. He told me that my brothers would be home soon and left for work. I was really bummed. I was sick and I felt lonely. So, I sat tucked into bed and started playing with my Barbie. I felt my blankets moving down by the foot of my bed. I looked down and saw what I can only describe as a small ball about the size of a softball, slowly moving towards me under my covers. I wasn't scared but I was curious as to what it was. I flung my blanket back and there was nothing there. I distinctly remember feeling amused. I know that sounds weird. I should have been scared but I was more... entertained then anything.
Nothing like those two experiences have happened again.
Now, I'm an adult, married, no kids. As of late some very strange things have happened.
It first started before we moved into our current house. My husband and I were packed up and excited that we were about to leave in the morning for our new home all the way across the country. We went to sleep and in the middle of the night I got up to get something to drink. After tripping over one of my cats on the way back, ha-ha, I walked into my bedroom and saw this weird shadow "thing" on my husband’s side of the bed. It had a head shape, shoulders and looked like someone in a robe. There were no facial features. It was bent down over my husband who was sound asleep. When I walked in, it sort of turned to look at me like "DOH!" and vanished. I've read a lot of people’s experiences here of something feeling "male." This felt very, very female. The feeling I got from her was of curiosity, not fear. Kind of like a "What the heck is this thing?" She was just kind of observing with an odd amusement. I got back into bed and went to sleep.
I might add, our oldest cat sleeps on our bed and had zero reaction to it. He looked in that direction but then went back to licking his leg. Of course, it's fair to note here that ‘said cat’ wouldn't react to anything unless it was near his food bowl. But I'd always heard that ghosts or whatever, if they have an evil intent, animals react badly to them. Since my lazy cat couldn't care less, and the feelings I got from "her" I figured, no harm no foul. If I didn't know my husband, I'd be curious as to how he could make such a loud snoring noise and not have scrambled brains from the vibrations too. I told my husband. He believed me but thought it was just my imagination or something.
Now present day, we live in a house that is brand new for 3 years now. No one has ever lived in it before us and the land was complete forest before the house was built. I should note, I now have 5 cats. I'm a sucker for strays and we had a lot of them around here. ha-ha. I don't mean to go on about my pets, but I feel they are intricate to what’s happening. They are not reacting badly to anything that is now going on in my home. At least one of them should be all hissing and growling if something was wrong, right? They all scatter (except my lazy cat), when people come to our house or they hear someone outside. As strays, they're very skittish. They were abused by people even to the point one lost his left eye. So, if there was anything wrong, they would be my first indicator that there's someone or something in my house they don't like. The only reaction they have is looking in the direction of these … for lack of a better term, "things" and then they go on about their business
Lately, and very often, I'm seeing heads and shoulders peaking around corners at me. Always at night when I'm alone. I have a weird sleep schedule, so I'm up and alone very late to early morning. When I see them, I look at them for a split second and they're gone. No faces, no discernible clothing, just black head shapes and a shoulder or two peaking at me. They vary in size, about the size of a child up to the ceiling. And I have 12 foot high ceilings, so that's pretty tall. I also am seeing no real shape but just black things moving out of the corner of my eye. Kind of like black vapor. I would say it was a cat if not for the fact I don't have a 4 -12 foot tall cat. This has happened so often I actually went to the doctors to have a physical and to the eye doctors to have my vision checked. I'm healthy and I have great eyesight.
When I see these things, I'm not scared. At all. I don't interact with them or speak out loud to encourage anything. I do get a more male feeling from these but the same curious feeling as I did with the female one I saw hovering over my husband. Like they don't want to be seen but they want to know what I'm up to.
Sometimes it's almost comical to me. Kind of like they're going, "DOH! Crap! She saw me!" and hiding. Once in a while I get that really odd feeling of being watched. Not enough to scare me but just make me slightly uneasy that something isn't as I think it should be. Kinda like if someone you don't know was staring at you in a restaurant, and you want them to stop but they continue, and you feel uneasy. That is a creepy feeling. I don't feel like they or it or whatever is out to harm anyone or thing but, I have no idea why these things are suddenly showing up. My husband and I aren't stressed out. Nothing serious is happening in our lives. We've lived here for 3 years and I've never had anything like this happen.
I haven't told my husband I'm seeing them. He would believe that I am seeing something but, I'm sure he will just rationalize it away. Which I certainly would too if anyone told me this and I had never experienced it.
I've only been reading stories of people feeling scared or they're demons or something with evil intent. I really would like to know if anyone else finds them sort of well…amusing. They seem only curious to me. Like we would watch and stare into a fish tank, they're kinda watching us only with a more hide and seek kind of mentality.
I can fully understand how people can be terrified by these things. We're all taught that the bad guys are in black. And people will always fear what they don't understand. And how can you understand something that mainstream society says doesn't exist? But I feel like the oddball of what some would call "ghost-believing oddballs" because I'm not scared of these things and I get a different feeling from them.
I wonder, are mine different? Are the ones I see somehow not the same as the scary ones people report? Or is it just because I have no belief in demons and the like, to attribute that belief to them? Should I be scared? I can't see any reason to be scared but perhaps I'm slightly naive. The fish looking at the funny worm on a hook sort of naive. But if I should be scared, shouldn't my pets? I believe animals are far more in tune with the natural world then modern humans could ever be so I trust their lack of reaction and the feelings I get when I do see them.
I will admit to one thing that worries me. I get the feeling things are going to escalate. I don't mean with them. I mean sometimes, not all the time after I see them, I get a very very strong feeling something bad is going to happen, but not directly to me. I have no reason to think that and I never really have thought like that before. I just feel like something bad is going to happen to something / someone pertaining to or around me. I shake it off and rationalize it as I'm just seeing something really friggen odd and it's a natural reaction. But I know really, that isn't true. I made my husband get a checkup at the doctors, just in case. He's fine by the way.
So I'm left wondering, they amuse me and sometimes make me chuckle. But I think they're here for a reason. I think they're watching and waiting. And I get an odd feeling if something does happen, they will be there to see my reaction. After researching these shadow people a little further, I’ve only seen the "Moth Man" spoken about a few times. But that's kinda what I'm feeling.
I'm glad though that I'm not alone in seeing them. However, I do feel like I'm kind of alone in the feelings I have towards them and the occasional feeling of "Something might happen" that I'm left with after seeing them.
Anyway, that's my story. I'm sure I'll keep seeing them. It's almost an every-other-night basis right now.
I guess I'll just wait and see and hope for the best.